When they say they're going to kick someone out, they ain't joking. A good friend of mine was forced to leave us just last week, and that, dear readers, is the proof for my statement. I can imagine what's it like for him, to be watching his future hanging without a thread, because for some stupid reason, nobody's helping him to secure any places in other unis. He had wasted one solid year learning something that we know for now will never be a good use for him.
But i am sure that this is not the end for him. God should have a better plan, He always had. Maybe there's a hikmah hidden somewhere between this. And i am not trying to sound poyo, but it's true what they say that learning is a process of life. Every second of you learning is definitely not a waste of time. So fret not dear friend, for the past year of you learning a whole another language and subjects you might not be taking after this might come in handy some day. Just treasure the knowledge, and i'm sure you'll be fine.
This is not the first friend that i had who's going through the same problem. There were two before, but look at them now. Clearly they didn't end up sleeping in the streets or whatsoever. They managed, and now they're just as successful as everyone else.
So you see, everyone's got chances. You just have to keep looking until you find it. And one failure obviously doesn't mean a thing, because without failure you can never achieve.
Me and him, we used to share our interests towards cartoons, music and even books. And that one ultimate memory with him i know i'll be remembering is when we used to play guitar and sing together. Well, he played, i sang. Now every time i listen to Kina Grannis' Valentine, his name'll definitely popped in my head.
But somehow this friendship of ours didn't last. Even when he was about to leave, things between us was not so great. I don't know where and what went wrong, but something did happened. I'm sure it was all just a misunderstanding, but i am dissapointed that he actually listened to what people had to say without solid proof.
I was planning on writing more about the times we had together as good friends. Kinda like a special tribute post of him.
But then he left without saying a proper good bye.
Maybe you mean more to me than i mean to you. Life's a bitch, i accept that now.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Road Trip
Good news people. I am staying for another semester in college (and hopefully, still staying for the next semester and the next and the next oh you got the picture). Syukur alhamdulillah, our prayers were answered by Him. I don't even care how my result will look like later. As far as i am concerned, for now, i am safe. :)
I finished my finals a week ago, and last weekend me and my homies went for an epic roadtrip to the north! I feel like writing about the trip in every little details but heck who would wanna read a bloody diary, so i guess i'm gonna skip some unimportant stuff. But this post is still gonna be a long one, i warn you.
The trip started with me screwing things up. We were supposed to move at 8.30am but being the Snorlax i am, i was still sleeping at that time. Everyone was all geared up and ready to go, waiting for me in the car, while i was still in my pajamas sleeping like a true Sleeping Beauty. So instead of waiting for me getting ready, they decided to go to college and submit our line tracer report before picking me up again (which was so not in the schedule). I was given angry glares by them as soon as i entered the car. Can't really blame them though, i think i deserved it. I felt bad actually, since Faitz, Ciktiqz and Syamim arrived late from Terengganu and Penang respectively the night before. And Damia, Zuley and Adilin were up the whole night waiting to pick them up from the bus station (and getting their hair dyed!). Basically none of them got enough sleep the night before. Me, on the other hand....
Oh well. They love me too much, they can't stay mad at me for too long. Haha. Then we made our way to Bukit Tinggi, snapped some pictures, strolled around and then straight away went to Penang. Actually we were not supposed to stop by Penang on that day but since that certain someone *coughSyamimcough* mengada wants to take his stuff at home, we had to make a stop. Why in the world did he came to KL without bringing his clothes was still a mystery. After Penang, we went to Kedah and spent the night there. Watched Transformers late that night but only Ciktiqz and i stayed awake throughout the entire movie while the rest just snores.
It was later that evening that i realized i haven't submitted Syahira's report. Everything was so messed up that morning that we forgot to submit it. So Syahira, if you're reading this, i hope you forgive me because i am truly sorry and didn't mean to disappoint you. To her teammates, Sufi and Hamzah, i apologize too.
Muh homies
The view in Bukit Tinggi
The next day we went to Padang Besar in Perlis to do some cheap shopping. Well, i didn't shop. But the others did. After that, we head up to Penang again, this time, the island. Rode the ferry and pity Zuley, he never knew ferries could carry cars. Noob. We had our lunch at the famous Nasi Kandar Line Clear and did some jeruk shopping nearby. Later that night, we were supposed to go to the Bon Odori festival but we failed to reach there in time because the traffic jam was beyond horrible! The sight of the fireworks (a sign that the festival is ending tsk tsk) from our car really broke my heart since i wanted to go so bad. But oh well, the trip must go on. Later, we went to Hard Rock Hotel and Batu Feringghi beach before heading back to the mainland to get a good night rest.
On the ferry
Nasi Kandar Line Clear
Padang Besar
The next morning, we went up the Bukit Bendera and had a yet another camwhoring session. Some tourists there thought we were from Thailand cause we were wearing the same "Hatyai" tshirt that we bought together at Padang Besar. Someone even mistaken Damia as Siamese! Okay okay you can stop rolling on the floor now. The Toy Museum was our next stop. Honestly, i think the museum was filled with pure awesomeness. It reminds me of my almost ending childhood and being in there makes me feel like a child again. All of the toys from my cartoon days (okay fine i am still having my cartoon days at the age 19) are displayed there. Rugrats, Pokemon, Doraemon, Chuckie, Furbee, Tarzan, Woody, Sailormoon, you name it. So it was not really surprising that when we entered, we instantly went..
"Awwhh i remembered these."
"WTF THIS PLACE IS SO COOL. I WANT TO LIVE HERE."
..and running around like a bunch of retarded kids. I swear we wear noisier than the kids there. Okay maybe that was just me. Whatever.
Getting henna done
Us in matching tshirts and henna designs
"OMG! That's Po! It's hugeeee."
But, all good things must come to an end. Before heading back to Shah Alam, we made a stop at Sunway Penang and watched a movie, just because we don't want to go back early. We watched Flat 3A, a Malaysian ghost story. That movie was seriously the best Malaysian movie i have ever watched ok who am i kidding natang haram movie ni bosan nak mampus okay. Didn't know why we picked it in the first place.
And so that was the end of our epic journey. On our way back home, we played cards in the car. It was hilarious, we got to do funny dares and got smacked whenever we did something wrong. We had such great time that we didn't even realize how fast time is passing by.
But that's just not it. You know how in the movies, that a group of friends went for a roadtrip and suddenly everything went wrong and their car was wrecked and they were being chased by a group of hungry cannibals and had nowhere to go? Yeah it happened to us, well, minus the "being chased by cannibals" part. Despite all the good moments, we had some bad moments too. Screw that, not just some. A lot, to be exact.
Where do i start?
1. Our hotel bookings were all messed up. The hotel we were supposed to be staying at in Kedah was a total disaster, while the one in Penang suddenly got cancelled. So we basically hit town without any any idea where to stay.
2. We constantly got lost. Thank God for smartphones. And guys who can actually read maps. And smartphones with sufficient batteries.
3. The aircond in our car broke down. Can't get it fixed since the damage was too bad and it'll cost us huge cash. Had the window open the entire journey. We were looking vogue from the outside, not so vogue on the inside.
4. Had several accidents. We weren't injured, thank God, but the car did get some scratches.
5. Didn't get to go to Bon Odori. I was very looking forward to this event. We were all looking forward to it. The sushis, the dancing, the Japanese surroundings. We missed it all. What made it worse was that we were stuck in the hideous traffic jam for hours.
6. Didn't get to karaoke cause the rooms were full. We were pretty heartbroken.
So our trip was quite a disaster but definitely a memorable one. Hey, it's these disasters that'll make us remember this trip forever. Sure, we had complications. But we sure do had fun too. After all, it's not the what we do or what we spent our money on that counts. It's the times that we spent together as friends. In the car, together solving problems, laughing and having fun.
So Damia, Ciktiqz, Faitz, Syamim, Zuley and Adilin. We should totally do this again! Soon!
-----
I finished my finals a week ago, and last weekend me and my homies went for an epic roadtrip to the north! I feel like writing about the trip in every little details but heck who would wanna read a bloody diary, so i guess i'm gonna skip some unimportant stuff. But this post is still gonna be a long one, i warn you.
The trip started with me screwing things up. We were supposed to move at 8.30am but being the Snorlax i am, i was still sleeping at that time. Everyone was all geared up and ready to go, waiting for me in the car, while i was still in my pajamas sleeping like a true Sleeping Beauty. So instead of waiting for me getting ready, they decided to go to college and submit our line tracer report before picking me up again (which was so not in the schedule). I was given angry glares by them as soon as i entered the car. Can't really blame them though, i think i deserved it. I felt bad actually, since Faitz, Ciktiqz and Syamim arrived late from Terengganu and Penang respectively the night before. And Damia, Zuley and Adilin were up the whole night waiting to pick them up from the bus station (and getting their hair dyed!). Basically none of them got enough sleep the night before. Me, on the other hand....
Oh well. They love me too much, they can't stay mad at me for too long. Haha. Then we made our way to Bukit Tinggi, snapped some pictures, strolled around and then straight away went to Penang. Actually we were not supposed to stop by Penang on that day but since that certain someone *coughSyamimcough* mengada wants to take his stuff at home, we had to make a stop. Why in the world did he came to KL without bringing his clothes was still a mystery. After Penang, we went to Kedah and spent the night there. Watched Transformers late that night but only Ciktiqz and i stayed awake throughout the entire movie while the rest just snores.
It was later that evening that i realized i haven't submitted Syahira's report. Everything was so messed up that morning that we forgot to submit it. So Syahira, if you're reading this, i hope you forgive me because i am truly sorry and didn't mean to disappoint you. To her teammates, Sufi and Hamzah, i apologize too.
Muh homies
The view in Bukit Tinggi
The next day we went to Padang Besar in Perlis to do some cheap shopping. Well, i didn't shop. But the others did. After that, we head up to Penang again, this time, the island. Rode the ferry and pity Zuley, he never knew ferries could carry cars. Noob. We had our lunch at the famous Nasi Kandar Line Clear and did some jeruk shopping nearby. Later that night, we were supposed to go to the Bon Odori festival but we failed to reach there in time because the traffic jam was beyond horrible! The sight of the fireworks (a sign that the festival is ending tsk tsk) from our car really broke my heart since i wanted to go so bad. But oh well, the trip must go on. Later, we went to Hard Rock Hotel and Batu Feringghi beach before heading back to the mainland to get a good night rest.
On the ferry
Nasi Kandar Line Clear
Padang BesarThe next morning, we went up the Bukit Bendera and had a yet another camwhoring session. Some tourists there thought we were from Thailand cause we were wearing the same "Hatyai" tshirt that we bought together at Padang Besar. Someone even mistaken Damia as Siamese! Okay okay you can stop rolling on the floor now. The Toy Museum was our next stop. Honestly, i think the museum was filled with pure awesomeness. It reminds me of my almost ending childhood and being in there makes me feel like a child again. All of the toys from my cartoon days (okay fine i am still having my cartoon days at the age 19) are displayed there. Rugrats, Pokemon, Doraemon, Chuckie, Furbee, Tarzan, Woody, Sailormoon, you name it. So it was not really surprising that when we entered, we instantly went..
"OMG! That's Po! It's hugeeee."
"Awwhh i remembered these."
"WTF THIS PLACE IS SO COOL. I WANT TO LIVE HERE."
..and running around like a bunch of retarded kids. I swear we wear noisier than the kids there. Okay maybe that was just me. Whatever.
Getting henna done
Us in matching tshirts and henna designs
"OMG! That's Po! It's hugeeee."
But, all good things must come to an end. Before heading back to Shah Alam, we made a stop at Sunway Penang and watched a movie, just because we don't want to go back early. We watched Flat 3A, a Malaysian ghost story. That movie was seriously the best Malaysian movie i have ever watched ok who am i kidding natang haram movie ni bosan nak mampus okay. Didn't know why we picked it in the first place.
And so that was the end of our epic journey. On our way back home, we played cards in the car. It was hilarious, we got to do funny dares and got smacked whenever we did something wrong. We had such great time that we didn't even realize how fast time is passing by.
But that's just not it. You know how in the movies, that a group of friends went for a roadtrip and suddenly everything went wrong and their car was wrecked and they were being chased by a group of hungry cannibals and had nowhere to go? Yeah it happened to us, well, minus the "being chased by cannibals" part. Despite all the good moments, we had some bad moments too. Screw that, not just some. A lot, to be exact.
Where do i start?
1. Our hotel bookings were all messed up. The hotel we were supposed to be staying at in Kedah was a total disaster, while the one in Penang suddenly got cancelled. So we basically hit town without any any idea where to stay.
2. We constantly got lost. Thank God for smartphones. And guys who can actually read maps. And smartphones with sufficient batteries.
3. The aircond in our car broke down. Can't get it fixed since the damage was too bad and it'll cost us huge cash. Had the window open the entire journey. We were looking vogue from the outside, not so vogue on the inside.
4. Had several accidents. We weren't injured, thank God, but the car did get some scratches.
5. Didn't get to go to Bon Odori. I was very looking forward to this event. We were all looking forward to it. The sushis, the dancing, the Japanese surroundings. We missed it all. What made it worse was that we were stuck in the hideous traffic jam for hours.
6. Didn't get to karaoke cause the rooms were full. We were pretty heartbroken.
So our trip was quite a disaster but definitely a memorable one. Hey, it's these disasters that'll make us remember this trip forever. Sure, we had complications. But we sure do had fun too. After all, it's not the what we do or what we spent our money on that counts. It's the times that we spent together as friends. In the car, together solving problems, laughing and having fun.
So Damia, Ciktiqz, Faitz, Syamim, Zuley and Adilin. We should totally do this again! Soon!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
All is well, All is well
In case you're wondering, i am still pretty much alive.
I have been having my exams for a week now and i can say that it went quite okay. Not exactly brilliantly done, but just an okay. Meaning, i probably won't get an A (praise to God if i do) but i can still manage a pass. I hope.
I desperately hope.
I screwed my Creative Objects 2 paper big time though, but so did 80% of the batch. I'd lie if i say i'm not worried, but i still have my project's marks to be totaled with the examination marks, so hopefully it'll add up to 60%. Only i have one problem, I'M NOT EVEN HALFWAY DONE WITH THE PROJECT! My teammates and i have only one day left, which is the day after our last paper, to finish the project and submit it. Oh, and we need to submit a report on the same day too (say what now?!)
How much work can we get done in a day? I'm guessing we're going to have to be real superheroes that day and work our asses off. Let's just hope i'm not going to be too tired and end up soldering someone's innocent hand again....
Physics was surprisingly easier than the usual, but easy questions can scare the hell out of you when you're used to answering hard questions. Sometimes you forget the simplest of things. Like during my interview, i was so scared that they're going to ask me complicated questions, and suddenly my imaginary "complicated question" turned out to be "What is the formula for weight?"
The answer was of course, W=mg. Everyone knows that. But guess what, i didn't answer it correctly! My God, who the hell does not know the formula for weight? It's like the basic of all formulas. Like i said, everyone knows it. Shame on me for actually forgetting that at times when i most need it!
You see, easy questions can really kill people sometimes. That's why i'm afraid of how my Physics paper will tun out to be. I got stuck on questions 1 & 2, can you believe that? They were supposed to be the easiest questions.
Now i have 4 more papers to look forward to. I say "look forward", because i really am looking forward to it. I just cant stand the exam stress anymore and i want it to be over and done with. Three more days and the torture will be over, and i'll be leaving Shah Alam for one solid week.
Of course, the exam stress is getting to me now that i am in the highly anticipated exam week, but i never let the stress get the worst out of me. People usually see me so laid back, sleeping when i should be studying and they often gives me questions like "Aren't you worried? Exams near already."
Nobody in their right mind would not be worried. I may appear to be chilled, but i'm bloody worried deep inside. It's just that i keep telling myself "It's okay. They've studied this and that and you haven't. Take a deep breath. You still have time. Plenty of time." But then the other half of my brain is telling me "You stupid! Go study now or you'll end up as nothing but a failure! Humiliation to your family!". Well, i obviously decided to listen to the positive side of me (although the ugly side was always winning first by a mile). I mean, it's no use getting stressed out, it's not like you can study properly in that state anyway.
If you're feeling stressed out from studying too much, try these tips to cool yourself down. I know i am in no position to be giving you advices, but hey, who knows some of this might help.
1. Sleep
Sleeping is very important. Just because you have exams, doesn't mean you don't need your beauty sleep. I used to stay awake for hours just to study (it's a last minute effort, of course) and i ended up having gigantic eyebags and a really tired body. Even when i accidentally took a nap, i'd wake up feeling guilty for wasting my time. Now that i'm older, i think, hell whatever. I'm sleepy and i need a good sleep. Sleeping is good, it helps your mind to relax.
2. Eat
For God's sake, eat! I once had a friend who didn't eat much during our SPM year because she's studying all the time and she couldn't even have the heart to spend her precious study time on eating. Talk about setting your priorities straight! I was surprised she even ended up with an SPM certificate instead of a death certificate. Just like cars, we need fuels. We need battery to keep us moving. How do you move a car without any fuel??
3. Watch movies while studying
Okay this must be a bit weird, but it works. I just found this out recently. I was so sleepy while reading my notes, so i tried opening a cartoon on my laptop just to have a nice short laugh. But then one movie leads to another movie and then another one and... yeah you got the picture. Mind you that while i was watching these movies, i had my notes with me too. It's kinda like multitasking, but i don't think it'll work with those who have focusing issues. That's why i opted for movies i have watched, so the focus would be more on my notes, not on the movie. It's fun, try it.
4. Blast some loud music in your ears
I'm sure everyone pretty much agrees with me on this. Especially if you're an Engineering/Accounts/etc student who doesn't read much and spends most of your time calculating. Some people had a hard time memorizing while listening to loud songs, but some can endure them too. It depends on your own style, really. For me, loud musics helped me a lot. Fly.fm, Maroon 5, Panic At The Disco etc had helped me study in so many ways, i think i should send them a Thank You card some day.
5. Pray
God will always have our backs, even if we constantly forgets our duty towards Him (shame on us). So at times like this, only God can bring peace to our hearts and guide us to the right path, that is, if we go seek for it. Therefore we should pray, because at the end of the day, whatever the result came out to be, it's His and only His decision.
I have other tips to share too like...
1) Have a long shower after long hours of studying and pretend you're a celebrity, holding the shower head as your mic
2) Tweet that you're stressed, then getting calming words from friends who care as a result. Be as drama queen-ed as possible.
3) Scream, scream, and do some more screaming. Make sure you don't have nosy neighbours
4) Roll all over the floor like a sack of demented potatoes
5) Write a blog post on how to handle exam stress (Like what i am doing right now)
But then i realized that those tips only work for me and are irrelevant to you guys. Besides, i dont know how to elaborate much on those tips without sounding like a complete idiot.
Anyways, i hope they were helpful enough. Good luck to those having exams just like me (what a sad situation we're in now, huh?). And to those not having exams, stop rubbing it in my face, saying that you've watched Transformers and booked Harry Potter tickets. You guys are killing my soul, seriously!! Just wait, three more days and i'll haunt you guys in your sleep. Sweet sweet revenge (imagine me sharpening a dagger).
You should wish me tons of luck instead!
I have been having my exams for a week now and i can say that it went quite okay. Not exactly brilliantly done, but just an okay. Meaning, i probably won't get an A (praise to God if i do) but i can still manage a pass. I hope.
I desperately hope.
I screwed my Creative Objects 2 paper big time though, but so did 80% of the batch. I'd lie if i say i'm not worried, but i still have my project's marks to be totaled with the examination marks, so hopefully it'll add up to 60%. Only i have one problem, I'M NOT EVEN HALFWAY DONE WITH THE PROJECT! My teammates and i have only one day left, which is the day after our last paper, to finish the project and submit it. Oh, and we need to submit a report on the same day too (say what now?!)
How much work can we get done in a day? I'm guessing we're going to have to be real superheroes that day and work our asses off. Let's just hope i'm not going to be too tired and end up soldering someone's innocent hand again....
Physics was surprisingly easier than the usual, but easy questions can scare the hell out of you when you're used to answering hard questions. Sometimes you forget the simplest of things. Like during my interview, i was so scared that they're going to ask me complicated questions, and suddenly my imaginary "complicated question" turned out to be "What is the formula for weight?"
The answer was of course, W=mg. Everyone knows that. But guess what, i didn't answer it correctly! My God, who the hell does not know the formula for weight? It's like the basic of all formulas. Like i said, everyone knows it. Shame on me for actually forgetting that at times when i most need it!
You see, easy questions can really kill people sometimes. That's why i'm afraid of how my Physics paper will tun out to be. I got stuck on questions 1 & 2, can you believe that? They were supposed to be the easiest questions.
Now i have 4 more papers to look forward to. I say "look forward", because i really am looking forward to it. I just cant stand the exam stress anymore and i want it to be over and done with. Three more days and the torture will be over, and i'll be leaving Shah Alam for one solid week.
Of course, the exam stress is getting to me now that i am in the highly anticipated exam week, but i never let the stress get the worst out of me. People usually see me so laid back, sleeping when i should be studying and they often gives me questions like "Aren't you worried? Exams near already."
Nobody in their right mind would not be worried. I may appear to be chilled, but i'm bloody worried deep inside. It's just that i keep telling myself "It's okay. They've studied this and that and you haven't. Take a deep breath. You still have time. Plenty of time." But then the other half of my brain is telling me "You stupid! Go study now or you'll end up as nothing but a failure! Humiliation to your family!". Well, i obviously decided to listen to the positive side of me (although the ugly side was always winning first by a mile). I mean, it's no use getting stressed out, it's not like you can study properly in that state anyway.
If you're feeling stressed out from studying too much, try these tips to cool yourself down. I know i am in no position to be giving you advices, but hey, who knows some of this might help.
1. Sleep
Sleeping is very important. Just because you have exams, doesn't mean you don't need your beauty sleep. I used to stay awake for hours just to study (it's a last minute effort, of course) and i ended up having gigantic eyebags and a really tired body. Even when i accidentally took a nap, i'd wake up feeling guilty for wasting my time. Now that i'm older, i think, hell whatever. I'm sleepy and i need a good sleep. Sleeping is good, it helps your mind to relax.
2. Eat
For God's sake, eat! I once had a friend who didn't eat much during our SPM year because she's studying all the time and she couldn't even have the heart to spend her precious study time on eating. Talk about setting your priorities straight! I was surprised she even ended up with an SPM certificate instead of a death certificate. Just like cars, we need fuels. We need battery to keep us moving. How do you move a car without any fuel??
3. Watch movies while studying
Okay this must be a bit weird, but it works. I just found this out recently. I was so sleepy while reading my notes, so i tried opening a cartoon on my laptop just to have a nice short laugh. But then one movie leads to another movie and then another one and... yeah you got the picture. Mind you that while i was watching these movies, i had my notes with me too. It's kinda like multitasking, but i don't think it'll work with those who have focusing issues. That's why i opted for movies i have watched, so the focus would be more on my notes, not on the movie. It's fun, try it.
4. Blast some loud music in your ears
I'm sure everyone pretty much agrees with me on this. Especially if you're an Engineering/Accounts/etc student who doesn't read much and spends most of your time calculating. Some people had a hard time memorizing while listening to loud songs, but some can endure them too. It depends on your own style, really. For me, loud musics helped me a lot. Fly.fm, Maroon 5, Panic At The Disco etc had helped me study in so many ways, i think i should send them a Thank You card some day.
5. Pray
God will always have our backs, even if we constantly forgets our duty towards Him (shame on us). So at times like this, only God can bring peace to our hearts and guide us to the right path, that is, if we go seek for it. Therefore we should pray, because at the end of the day, whatever the result came out to be, it's His and only His decision.
I have other tips to share too like...
1) Have a long shower after long hours of studying and pretend you're a celebrity, holding the shower head as your mic
2) Tweet that you're stressed, then getting calming words from friends who care as a result. Be as drama queen-ed as possible.
3) Scream, scream, and do some more screaming. Make sure you don't have nosy neighbours
4) Roll all over the floor like a sack of demented potatoes
5) Write a blog post on how to handle exam stress (Like what i am doing right now)
But then i realized that those tips only work for me and are irrelevant to you guys. Besides, i dont know how to elaborate much on those tips without sounding like a complete idiot.
Anyways, i hope they were helpful enough. Good luck to those having exams just like me (what a sad situation we're in now, huh?). And to those not having exams, stop rubbing it in my face, saying that you've watched Transformers and booked Harry Potter tickets. You guys are killing my soul, seriously!! Just wait, three more days and i'll haunt you guys in your sleep. Sweet sweet revenge (imagine me sharpening a dagger).
You should wish me tons of luck instead!
Sunday, July 3, 2011
World War 3
My final exam starts tomorrow. Final exam means war. Battle.
It's do or die.
Because if i fail, i don't just get scoldings and shame. I'd be a drop out. Wouldn't want that to happen.
So peeps please pray for me. And with that, i hope that Allah will listen to our prayers and let me succeed. I am sorry to those i've hurt, the ones i've offended. Even the Prophet forgives, so why won't you?
I will try my best, insyaAllah. Aku dah separuh gila ni belajar pagi petang siang malam.
But on the other hand, i can't stop thinking of our plans after the exams. LOOKING FORWARD TO PENANG!
It's do or die.
Because if i fail, i don't just get scoldings and shame. I'd be a drop out. Wouldn't want that to happen.
So peeps please pray for me. And with that, i hope that Allah will listen to our prayers and let me succeed. I am sorry to those i've hurt, the ones i've offended. Even the Prophet forgives, so why won't you?
I will try my best, insyaAllah. Aku dah separuh gila ni belajar pagi petang siang malam.
But on the other hand, i can't stop thinking of our plans after the exams. LOOKING FORWARD TO PENANG!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Melankolik, dan perlukan aiskrim
Lama rasanya sudah tidak menaip dalam Bahasa Melayu.
Kau percaya atau tidak dengan kata-kata orang kulit putih
People change
Sememangnya manusia pasti akan berubah pada satu titik masa. Cuma kita tak tahu bila. Mungkin esok, mungkin tahun depan, mungkin sehari selepas majlis perkahwinan kedua Mak Mah (yang mana aku pun tidak kenal siapa).
Baru beberapa minggu lepas, hari jadi kenalan aku. Setahun yang lalu, pada tarikh yang sama, aku ingat lagi dia bergurau konon mesra dengan aku. Katanya mahu hadiah, mahu ucapan. Dengan lagak konon mesra juga aku menjawab "Pergi mampus kau." Tapi waktu itu kami kawan. Ejekan gurauan itu normal.
Tapi, itu cerita tahun lepas.
Tahun ini masa hari jadinya aku langsung tak peduli. Dia juga tak peduli bila aku tak peduli. Tiada lagi demand untuk ucapan dan hadiah. Kami buat kerja masing masing, hidup masing masing.
Sebab kami bukan lagi kawan.
Nampak sudah kan betapa setahun membawa perbezaan yang sangat besar. Orang yang dulunya aku ingat kawan kini aku anggap orang biasa biasa saja. Orang yang ada atau tidak, langsung tidak memberi efek dalam hidup aku.
Dalam bulan yang sama ini juga, aku dapat tahu selama ini aku berkawan dengan pelakon. Pelakon famous atau tidak, itu aku tidak pasti. Tapi Ya Allah, skill memang handal. Tersangatlah handal sampai aku juga boleh tertipu.
Pelakon pelakon ini, depan nampak malaikat, tapi belakang macam. Erm, aku tak mahu tulis. Kau bayangkan makhluk pink hidung penyek.
Pelakon pelakon ini sangat baik. Sering memberi kata kata nasihat, kata kata penenang, kata kata supportive. Kami bergelak tawa sama sama. Have fun sama sama. Memang kamceng gila sampai orang luar dari lingkaran kami tengok pun boleh menyampah.
But of course, itu cuma lakonan. Pelakon handalan kan.
Rupa rupanya di belakang aku mereka mengata. Mengutuk. Mencaci. Menghina. Mereka kata itu ini tentang aku, pada masa yang sama berkawan dengan aku. Tak perlu ceritalah apa mereka cakap pasal aku. Sebab nanti kau gelakkan mereka. Kalau alasan mereka sekukuh konkrit, aku boleh terima. Tapi ni... Ah senang kata kalau kau tahu mesti kau gelak.
Bila aku dapat tahu semua ni, aku mula percaya satu perkara. Manusia memang tak boleh dipercayai. Betapa baik pun kau anggap seseorang itu, dia pasti akan lukakan kau in some way. Pandang orang sekeliling kau. Sahabat, keluarga, kekasih, saudara, jiran sebelah, penjaga kedai runcit depan rumah.
100% kau percaya mereka tak akan buat tahi dengan kau? Bullshit.
Lumrah manusia, mesti sentiasa tak puas hati, sentiasa dengki. Macam masa kita kecik kecik dulu. Kita sayang adik kita, tapi bila mak bagi dia aiskrim dan kita sendiri tak dapat, mesti kita rasa sakit hati kan? Maka secara instant kita bayangkan visual adik kita digilis tren KTM (yang by the way, lembab macam haram) dalam kepala. Semua hasil rasa dengki dan ditambah dengan sedikit bisikan syaitan.
Kita manusia sentiasa buat silap. Fine aku keji. Tapi jangan ingat kau pun tak sama keji. Kita semua keji dalam cara kita sendiri. Jadi apa salahnya kita tegur sesama sendiri, luahkan apa yang tidak puas hati. Masalah tak akan selesai dengan mengata di belakang. Yang keji masih keji. Malah markah keji kau bertambah, sebab, menurut uztazah aku masa darjah 6 dulu, mengumpat itu dosanya besar. Oh aku tak kata aku tak pernah mengumpat. Bak kata aku tadi, kita semua manusia yang melakukan kesilapan.
Kau tegur aku, aku tegur kau. Kita berubah untuk kebaikan. Dan kita kawan. Buat apa pura pura. Kalau tak suka, baik tinggalkan aku terus awal awal.
Oh lupa, kau kan nak test skil berlakon. Patutlah.
Tak mahu aku sakit macam ni lagi. Aku rasa aku perlu ambil kelas lakonan. Tidak, bukan untuk aku jadi pelakon. Malas juga aku nak gentar kan Lisa Surihani, biar dia je yang menang, aku tarik diri. Tapi aku mahu belajar cara cara seorang pelakon.
Supaya lain kali, aku boleh kenalpasti pelakon pelakon yang datang dalam hidup aku. Supaya lain kali, aku boleh buang mereka awal awal. Supaya lain kali, aku tak sakit lagi.
Buat pelakon pelakon yang sudah pernah muncul dalam hidup aku, tahniah aku ucapkan. Kau semua memang hebat. Kau buat aku percaya kau semua akan ada di situ sentiasa menyokong aku. Ada untuk aku. Tapi rupa rupanya. Ya memang betul kau semua sentiasa ada untuk aku. Tapi untuk membabikan aku.
Tahniah.
Masa aku ber-emo emo-an tentang hal ini, ramai yang datang tenangkan aku. Secara live mahupun secara virtual. Terima kasih buat yang jauh tapi masih ingatkan aku, yang dekat dan sentiasa di sisi aku, yang susah payah telefon kemudian tidak dilayan, yang buang kredit text aku, yang bosan melihat air mata aku, yang tweet aku kata kata semangat, yang susah payah buat lawak bagi aku tergelak.
Terima kasih sangat, tapi belum selamat rasanya untuk aku katakan yang aku percaya kau semua.
Aku perlu masa, kot.
Aku cuma harap, Ya Tuhan, kau semua bukan pelakon.
Kau percaya atau tidak dengan kata-kata orang kulit putih
People change
Sememangnya manusia pasti akan berubah pada satu titik masa. Cuma kita tak tahu bila. Mungkin esok, mungkin tahun depan, mungkin sehari selepas majlis perkahwinan kedua Mak Mah (yang mana aku pun tidak kenal siapa).
Baru beberapa minggu lepas, hari jadi kenalan aku. Setahun yang lalu, pada tarikh yang sama, aku ingat lagi dia bergurau konon mesra dengan aku. Katanya mahu hadiah, mahu ucapan. Dengan lagak konon mesra juga aku menjawab "Pergi mampus kau." Tapi waktu itu kami kawan. Ejekan gurauan itu normal.
Tapi, itu cerita tahun lepas.
Tahun ini masa hari jadinya aku langsung tak peduli. Dia juga tak peduli bila aku tak peduli. Tiada lagi demand untuk ucapan dan hadiah. Kami buat kerja masing masing, hidup masing masing.
Sebab kami bukan lagi kawan.
Nampak sudah kan betapa setahun membawa perbezaan yang sangat besar. Orang yang dulunya aku ingat kawan kini aku anggap orang biasa biasa saja. Orang yang ada atau tidak, langsung tidak memberi efek dalam hidup aku.
Dalam bulan yang sama ini juga, aku dapat tahu selama ini aku berkawan dengan pelakon. Pelakon famous atau tidak, itu aku tidak pasti. Tapi Ya Allah, skill memang handal. Tersangatlah handal sampai aku juga boleh tertipu.
Pelakon pelakon ini, depan nampak malaikat, tapi belakang macam. Erm, aku tak mahu tulis. Kau bayangkan makhluk pink hidung penyek.
Pelakon pelakon ini sangat baik. Sering memberi kata kata nasihat, kata kata penenang, kata kata supportive. Kami bergelak tawa sama sama. Have fun sama sama. Memang kamceng gila sampai orang luar dari lingkaran kami tengok pun boleh menyampah.
But of course, itu cuma lakonan. Pelakon handalan kan.
Rupa rupanya di belakang aku mereka mengata. Mengutuk. Mencaci. Menghina. Mereka kata itu ini tentang aku, pada masa yang sama berkawan dengan aku. Tak perlu ceritalah apa mereka cakap pasal aku. Sebab nanti kau gelakkan mereka. Kalau alasan mereka sekukuh konkrit, aku boleh terima. Tapi ni... Ah senang kata kalau kau tahu mesti kau gelak.
Bila aku dapat tahu semua ni, aku mula percaya satu perkara. Manusia memang tak boleh dipercayai. Betapa baik pun kau anggap seseorang itu, dia pasti akan lukakan kau in some way. Pandang orang sekeliling kau. Sahabat, keluarga, kekasih, saudara, jiran sebelah, penjaga kedai runcit depan rumah.
100% kau percaya mereka tak akan buat tahi dengan kau? Bullshit.
Lumrah manusia, mesti sentiasa tak puas hati, sentiasa dengki. Macam masa kita kecik kecik dulu. Kita sayang adik kita, tapi bila mak bagi dia aiskrim dan kita sendiri tak dapat, mesti kita rasa sakit hati kan? Maka secara instant kita bayangkan visual adik kita digilis tren KTM (yang by the way, lembab macam haram) dalam kepala. Semua hasil rasa dengki dan ditambah dengan sedikit bisikan syaitan.
Kita manusia sentiasa buat silap. Fine aku keji. Tapi jangan ingat kau pun tak sama keji. Kita semua keji dalam cara kita sendiri. Jadi apa salahnya kita tegur sesama sendiri, luahkan apa yang tidak puas hati. Masalah tak akan selesai dengan mengata di belakang. Yang keji masih keji. Malah markah keji kau bertambah, sebab, menurut uztazah aku masa darjah 6 dulu, mengumpat itu dosanya besar. Oh aku tak kata aku tak pernah mengumpat. Bak kata aku tadi, kita semua manusia yang melakukan kesilapan.
Kau tegur aku, aku tegur kau. Kita berubah untuk kebaikan. Dan kita kawan. Buat apa pura pura. Kalau tak suka, baik tinggalkan aku terus awal awal.
Oh lupa, kau kan nak test skil berlakon. Patutlah.
Tak mahu aku sakit macam ni lagi. Aku rasa aku perlu ambil kelas lakonan. Tidak, bukan untuk aku jadi pelakon. Malas juga aku nak gentar kan Lisa Surihani, biar dia je yang menang, aku tarik diri. Tapi aku mahu belajar cara cara seorang pelakon.
Supaya lain kali, aku boleh kenalpasti pelakon pelakon yang datang dalam hidup aku. Supaya lain kali, aku boleh buang mereka awal awal. Supaya lain kali, aku tak sakit lagi.
Buat pelakon pelakon yang sudah pernah muncul dalam hidup aku, tahniah aku ucapkan. Kau semua memang hebat. Kau buat aku percaya kau semua akan ada di situ sentiasa menyokong aku. Ada untuk aku. Tapi rupa rupanya. Ya memang betul kau semua sentiasa ada untuk aku. Tapi untuk membabikan aku.
Tahniah.
-----
Masa aku ber-emo emo-an tentang hal ini, ramai yang datang tenangkan aku. Secara live mahupun secara virtual. Terima kasih buat yang jauh tapi masih ingatkan aku, yang dekat dan sentiasa di sisi aku, yang susah payah telefon kemudian tidak dilayan, yang buang kredit text aku, yang bosan melihat air mata aku, yang tweet aku kata kata semangat, yang susah payah buat lawak bagi aku tergelak.
Terima kasih sangat, tapi belum selamat rasanya untuk aku katakan yang aku percaya kau semua.
Aku perlu masa, kot.
Aku cuma harap, Ya Tuhan, kau semua bukan pelakon.
"The worst feeling in the world is to know you were used and lied to by someone you trusted."
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