This is just crap. You'll regret reading this

I know i havent been posting much lately, which is like so not me. Because the old me used to write a lot even though it was all just crap (just like this one). Well the truth is i have been busy with charity work. I've been driving here and there, sending out free food and giving my old clothes to the homeless. And just last week, i was chosen to give a talk on the topic "How To Be Awesome" to a bunch of cute lil 7 year old kids. Yeah basically i was busy doing pretty good deeds.

I'm starting to realize that i'm being hambar here so i should stop.

Nah. I'm still the same ol awesome college student who have been busy sleeping instead of studying and doing assignments. Betul, tak tipu. These days i sleep too much, i'm starting to think that i'm related to Snorlax.

I dont really know what i'm supposed to write now so forgive me for my endless blabbering. Life now is.. well, okay. The drama is thickening, of course, oh wait excuse me, the LOVE drama is thickening around me. Everywhere i go i hear love stories. Biasalah kan, being a girl and all, you're supposed to like these kind of stories. You're supposed to go all "Wahh macam mana date tadi? Going well?" And then when your friend started spilling all the details, you're supposed to be like "Awwh sweet gila. Jeles jeles. Luckynya ada boyfriend macam tu."

But you know what. I'm not really that person. I can fake all i want, but at the end of the day, i dont freaking care. Dont get me wrong, it's not anybody's fault. I know girls, biasalah bila in love memang macam tu.

The me in high school wouldnt even ask how a date went or did your boyfriend got you something for your birthday. The old me wouldnt even care and wouldnt even faking it that i care. Call me heartless and stuff, but i'm just cool that way yeah. Haha okay scratch that. Let's just say i have better things to think of. But as i grow older, i try to be more polite by actually trying to listen when a girlfriend of mine talks about her relationship. Because i know it's like in the goddang Guide Book to Being A Good Friend. Of course, it kinda bore me at some point but hey it's not that bad pun sebenarnya. Tapi kalau sampai everyday i would have to listen to your gooey gooey stuff with your partner memang nak kena tembak lah tu.

A lot of people are saying that i'm "lambat". Lambat as in like, for example, i dont really notice when someone shows affection towards me. And i dont really see what's the real agenda behind an action. You get what i mean? My friend would have to explain the situation to me and i'd go "Ohhh it's like that." So maybe i lack knowledge in this department. I tend to see things not like other girls do. Thus, the gelaran that have been given to me by my friends: Hati Lelaki. So guys out there, you have to do A LOT to make me fall for any of you, because sometimes, i just dont get it. Haha okay perasan please ada lelaki nak aku pffftt.

Why am i this way, i dont even know. Maybe a part of the reason is because i havent actually been in love before. Sure, there were guys in my life before, but when i think of it, i havent actually ever LOVED anyone. I cared deeply, maybe, but then my mind would go "Oh no this is so wrong i shouldnt have done this". Senang kata, i was easily scared. Sebab aku rasa buat apa masuk in a relationship when there's a possibility of you getting hurt, might as well just enjoy life just the way it is. Or maybe i just havent found the right person that i can trust enough to believe that he would never hurt me.

Okay this post is getting way too geli. So not cool man, so not cool. But heck who cares. Blame the people around me for being in love sangat. Semua nak bercinta bla bla yada yada. And then there i was, always the friend, never the girl. [insert music that clearly expresses my pathetic situation]

Tapi janganlah sampai just because i currently dont have anyone special in my life, you started calling me a lesbian. I dont freaking like girls okay. And just because i act cool like the guys, that doesnt mean i AM a guy. Sekali sekala joke boleh lah. Tapi banyak banyak kali, it's not even funny anymore.

IT'S EFFING OFFENSIVE.








Takpelah, maybe someday my prince charming will come. The one that can change the cold-hearted me to someone jiwang gila babi. Eww no lah. I dont want to be like that. But i'll be waiting. You out there, nanti datang you tak payah naik kuda putih tau, berkaki ayam bawak i makan mamak pun i tak kisah. Even better kalau you bawa i pergi pasar malam beli bontot ayam panggang. <3

p/s: Went to watch Limitless at Sunway today, only to find out that it's not airing there. Kecewa. Watched Scream 4 instead, going to review it later.