There's a child in everyone

I was having a conversation over dinner the other day with my dad and suddenly out of nowhere he came up with a this question:

"Do you think of yourself as an adult or as a child?"

"Pfft, an adult, of course." I answered.

Upon hearing my answer, he laughed.

HE. LAUGHED.

I was confused. Why was he laughing? I could think of only two reasons, one, there's something funny on my face or two, he thinks my answer's absurd. I checked my face for any embarrassing stuff like some snot or rice dangling from my nostril, but no. My face was normal. So it had to be the latter.

He thinks i am not worthy of the title "adult".

Then i started judging myself in my head. I am 19 and i live in this big city all by myself. I pay for my own food, my own bills, my own transportation, you name it. I am not in high school anymore and i settle my life dramas on my own, unlike five years ago where i would cry over the phone and spill my problems to my parents. One year from now, i would have the phrase "teen" removed from my life for good.

So doesn't all that makes me an adult?

But then again, there's the other side of me. The other me who still enjoys watching cartoons and can't live without Disney Channel or Nickelodeon. I still can't do house chores properly, let alone cook. I woke up late almost every no-class-mornings, which i know the behavior that my parents hate the most. I have also been told that I have a massive problem with procrastination and that i tend to settle my problems immaturely. Adding to my list of shameful traits are irresponsible, naughty, foolish, lazy, unwise in making decisions, etc.

So now what? Getting heavier on the "child" side?

Therefore instead of exaggerating this confusion in my head while chewing my dinner, i decided to just straight away ask my dad.

"Why are you laughing? I am an adult, no?"

He just gave me a smile and shook his head. As if he's ignoring my question in disbelief.

What lahhhhh???

And here i am, still confused. Oh well, maybe i'm a little bit of both.

How can i describe this... "Dipping my toes in the pool of adulthood, while desperately clinging to my teenage years for support."

Hmm yeah okay that'll do.

p/s: Technically speaking, i am still 18 till the very last two days of 2011. Cheers for a late birthday and having to pretend that i am 19 for almost one whole effin year! How's that for a little confusion.