Daddy's girl

6 years ago, when my dad decided to send me away to a boarding school, i was pretty convinced that i was no longer loved by him. Maybe he thought i was a really pain in the ass so he made the easy decision to ship me across the sea. I cried my heart out almost everyday, telling him i wanna go home. But he would just shrug my lame actions off and tell me "No". So cruel lah this man.

But what i dont actually know at that time is that all the things he did was for the best of me. He knows what's right and even though he knew along the way he'll hurt me in some way, he still made his way through it. Not meaning to brag, but look at what his decisions had made me become today. I graduated from one of the finest high school in Malaysia and ended up with a not brilliant, but still good enough SPM result. If my dad were too give in to me and transferred me to a normal school back then, who knows what would happen to me. For all we know, i could be doing drugs or be smoking cigarettes by now. Because peer pressure sometimes can really get to me, especially when i find it hard to fit in. So thank God for my dad, for he had led me to the right path.

I was never the person who can express my feeling perfectly. I dont know how to say or show that i cared for someone. Let alone admit that i love them. You think it's natural for a daughter to say "I love you" to her parents? Well i thought so too. But then i turned 10, and i became this heartless monster which i am not really proud of. Even apologizing to my parents on Hari Raya scares the hell out of me. I'd be restless the day before, trying to come up with a speech to say to them. So you can imagine the same thing happens every Father's day, birthday, or any special kind of day when expressing your love is necessary.

Gosh i suck big time at this thing called love.

Most of the time my wishes would turn out to be something like this:

Toot toot (I usually do this by phone, since i'm always far from him)

"Heyyy daddy."

"Yes Nina. So what's new?"

"Err aa Happy Father's Day!"

"Wahh thank you thank you." (Then he would continue blabbering as if he's giving a speech after winning an award)

-- silence on my end --

Then we would change topics. Usually with me going "Daddy have you watched X-Men? It was good."

AWKWARD.

You see how lame i am with emotional wishes? I make it sound so... hambar. No wonder people always tell me that i am so heartless and that they had never felt loved by me. Sigh. I love you guys lah it's just that i was born a robot so don't blame me. Baby, i was born this way!

I even need my mum to remind me these special dates, or i'll end up having not a clue of what's happening. And then my dad would merajuk, big time. Such a girl lah my dad! Once i forgot my parents' 20th anniversary...

"Don't you know what day it is?" (grins)

"What? Wednesday?"

"How can you not know? So teruk. Never mind you didnt wished, but you don't even remember? Don't know what's gotten into you lately. This day is very special to mummy and daddy. 20 years of marriage, you think that's easy? You're 19 now, big girl already!"

After that i was not really listening because i was too busy singing in my head to the song playing on the radio. Pretty sure it was Far East Movement's Rocketeer.

"Hahaha how should i know it was your anniversary hahaha. Okay so where are we going for breakfast?"

I knowwww. I'm such a bad daughter you should hang me publicly right now.

I often envy my friends who made it look so easy to express their love towards their loved ones. You know, like buying their parents gifts or throwing surprise parties for their parents and stuff. Me? The best i can do is wish them, and that is through the phone. Go figure.

My dad's been hinting that he wishes to own an LCD projector so that he can watch movies like in the cinema - only it's not in the cinema. DADDY, SERIOUSLY? I AM ONLY 19 I CANT AFFORD NASI LEMAK LET ALONE AN LCD PROJECTOR.

So on this very special day (it's Father's Day, you fools. I know i know. I wont remember it either if it wasn't for the trending topics on Twitter, and my mum's text this morning. Heh), i would like to wish my dad...

a very very happy and glorious Father's Day!

But he never knew i had a blog so he probably wont be reading this blergh. I even wished him on Facebook and Twitter, but he too doesn't follow or be friends with me there, so... yeah. My effort doesn't really counts.

Actually my dad do have a Facebook account, but being the nice daughter i am, i requested for him to never ever add me as his friend cause i love my privacy. And he obeyed my request. Such a lucky daughter am i not! He trusts me that much i'm starting to feel guilty. Hmm.

He's such a proud father, my dad. I know he talks about me a lot to his students. Because somehow when his students visited our house during Raya, they would go all "Ohh so this is the daughter Mr. R has been talking about. The one who blablabla."

What a way to embarass me daddy. "-__-

I can go on and on about my dad, but i'll save you the torture. I'll end my post with how i wished my dad this morning.

Toot toot.

"Hello? Daddy?"

"I'll call you back. I'm in a meeting."

EPIC FAIL!