Cheers to PMS

So people. I have been in a nerdy mode these couple of days. Well, not exactly. I wish i was in a nerdy mode, but all i did was sleep like a Snorlax. Don't know what's wrong with me. It has been a routine for me to sleep after class and wake up in the middle of the night, when everybody's already getting ready to sleep. When my housemates were already yawning and wishing me "Goodnight", i'd greeted them back with hair still dripping wet since i just took my shower.

This is what classes from 8am-5pm give to people. I'm so tired mentally and physically every time i reached home, and yet i still can't rest properly since there are lots of work to be done for the day after. I don't know how my friends managed to keep themselves alive by not taking a nap after class and still have the energy to study/do assignments/etc at night.

You guys are total superheroes.

What's making it worse now is that my final examination is coming. Real soon. Knowing me, i am such a last minute person so when it comes down to the last ten days to exams, I AM SO CUAK. But that's just the problem. I get cuak, but my effort to overcome the cuak.. not so good. Normal cuak people will start to be bestfriends with books and sleep with their calculator and lecture notes. The cuak Nina just sleeps.

I tried okay i really did! But then 30minutes after going through my lecture notes, everything became all blurry and i'd be screaming in my head saying "What the hell is this?? Can't even understand a thing. Have i actually been learning this whole semester?! I'm so stupiiiiiid."

See. I did tried. Hehe.

And this is how the floor looks like. All covered up in my handouts since i'm not really an organized person so i had to go through all of em just to find the right handout.

Next week's my study week. Most of you would probably be thanking God for granting us this thing called "Study Week". But not for me though, since study week did nothing to me other than being an annoying reminder that screams EXAM IN A WEEK YOU FOOLS GO START STUDYING YES NINA I AM TALKING TO YOU.

Your study week might sound a bit like this:
1. Going home (for those who can focus better at home)
2. No classes
3. No assignments
4. Sleeping late at night and waking up late the next day
5. Studying in pajamas/shorts/boxers/other comfortable clothes
6. TOTAL CONCENTRATION

Good for you. Unfortunately, my study week sounds like this:
1. Classes as usual. Probably having them on this Saturday too.
2. Assignments as usual
3. Waking up at 6.30am and getting sleepy once i reached home
4. Baju kurung and hijab all day
5. CANNOT FOCUS AT ALL

How sad is my current life.

That's not only it. This past week i have been bugged by an emotional problem since some people i used to trust betrayed me. And i was hurt so bad, i started going around pointing to people saying "I don't trust you" and "Manusia semua tak guna tak boleh dipercayai". Pathetic, i know but only God knows how sad i was. Not really sure if i have recovered from this thing by now. Because i see these people everyday and it... sigh. I don't know what to feel anymore.

This story deserves a post of its own, so i'll stop here.

Moving on, adding up to the sadness factors in my life is that, ironically, it's the time of the month. Oh you know, the time of the month when cute little girls like me turn into monsters. Well i'm not really the type who goes all grumpy when i have it (i think?) since i don't really have the horrible kind of senggugut where some people couldn't even get out of bed. But i found myself whining and being moody yesterday and i don't even know why, so i blamed it on the bleeding.

Maybe it was the bleeding, or maybe i was just so depressed. Hmm.

I was so out of focus and lazy yesterday that i felt like sleeping the whole day. Because by sleeping can i only find peace, well, except when i have nightmares. I even soldered Zuley's hand yesterday when we were doing our circuits! Oh my god what was i thinking soldering tool is so hot okay so hot! But of course he forgave me since his ego's so high up in the sky and he went all "Eleh tak sakit la" just to cover his macho.

I even slept at 9pm last night, (That's like so early! Unless you're a 10-year-old) ignoring the fact that i have to study for my upcoming exams. And did i mentioned that i have a huge zit the size of Uranus?? I didn't? How can i forget when everybody around me seems to never forget to point out the enormous ball on my face. "-__-

Some people talked to me and suddenly their eyes went to the place where my zit sits. HELLO, YOU TALKING TO ME OR MY ZIT? Huh rude people. Some just went blunt and casually greeted my zit.

"Nina hehehe what's that."

"What? I curse everyone who tegur will dapat. Twice bigger."

That remark sent their hands flying to cover up their face, scared. Hehe.

Feel the beat of the tamborine

You might not know this, but...

I have been going to the Showdown 2011 live show every week (well, except this week since i had my PMS - i think) which was held in iCity. My mummy would go all "Why waste your money on this concert concert thing again? Always concert. Later don't ask me money." if she reads this. But fear not dear mummy, for this is a free thingy.



Don't know what Showdown is? Google yourself, i malas want to explain. Or just tune in to 8tv every Wednesday night at 9.30pm.

Yeah i know i know. Most of you would probably be thinking why on Earth am i doing this. Well, it all started once upon a time when two boys discovered some bboys practicing their moves in Bukit Bintang. They were so amazed that they think they had finally found their purpose of life or something. Then the two boys started spreading words and later more boys and girls shared their fascination. Suddenly, the boys were bboy wannabee buddies and they started to create secret handshakes and stuff. Gosh. Boys, so immature.

Oh that's not the worst part.

And then they discovered Showdown 2011 was being held in iCity, which is like a ten-minute drive away from where we're staying.

Thus the decision to watch it live every week, and i was dragged to tag along.

Don't get me wrong, i really do love the dance scene. Not really sure how the scene is here in Malaysia though. But that was before. After watching Showdown week to week, i can proudly say that the dance scene in Malaysia is not so bad after all!

My favourite crew, HMC Phlow. Check these guys out!

Being involved in Showdown reminds me of my dancing days back in school. Laugh lah all you want, but hey. IT'S THE DANCE CLUB'S PRESIDENT OF 2009 YOU'RE DEALING WITH HERE.

No,there's no need for you to jump off a cliff out of disbelief. I don't believe it either, since i'm not really that talented.

I can say that my passion for dance started at a very young age. I remembered my first dancing performance in kindergarten, it was "Cindai". How can i not remember, since my dad still bugs me with the dance routine every now and then. (That's not actually so bad. My sister did "I'm A Little Teapot" back in kindergarten, and my dad still bugs her about it. Now which one's more embarrassing? Hers riiiightt) Then came primary school and i was still involved in some dancing. High school was the peak of my dancing era, since my high school life was pretty much filled with dancing activities.

I remembered how i used to stay up late just to practice. While other students were busy preparing for their exams and stuff, i was busy memorizing dance steps. Oh the sacrifices we dancers made. I'd lie if i tell you it's not tiring. But the feeling of doing something you love can easily beat that.

One thing i love about being a dancer in school is the feeling of being someone important. Suddenly we're important to the school since everything we do on stage affects the image of the school. When my school had events with schools from other countries, there's suddenly a demand for the dancers since the best way to show our country's culture is by dance. We got invited to events other students weren't allowed to go, did some shows for charity and even went for a holiday in another country!

Ahhh good times.

Now two years after graduating from school, i can't even remember the last time i swung my hips. My packed schedule doesn't really allow me to get involved in club activities, so there goes my dancing days. Done. Over. (Accept those times in the toilet when i imagined myself being one of the contestants in SYTYCD.....)

And i am missing it a lot.

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Anyway, i remembered Chriz Ooi from Elecoldxhot wore the Adidas winged shoes in one of their shows. No big deal, just that IT IS THE DOPEST SHOES ON EARTH THAT'S ALL. If you have been following me on Twitter, you would know how crazy i am with this shoes. It's an old design, i know, but who cares i still want it anyway.

And it matches my Swatch winged watch. More the reason to love!

The shoes look something like this:



Match it up with my watch, and i'll probably look like this:




In this week's show, there's also someone using the shoes while performing. Okay what exactly are you trying to tell me dear God? Is this a sign that someone would finally buy it for me? If not, then stop shoving it in my face please.

I'll instantly fall in love with the person who'd buy me those. I think that person would be Flynn Rider. Kbye.

Daddy's girl

6 years ago, when my dad decided to send me away to a boarding school, i was pretty convinced that i was no longer loved by him. Maybe he thought i was a really pain in the ass so he made the easy decision to ship me across the sea. I cried my heart out almost everyday, telling him i wanna go home. But he would just shrug my lame actions off and tell me "No". So cruel lah this man.

But what i dont actually know at that time is that all the things he did was for the best of me. He knows what's right and even though he knew along the way he'll hurt me in some way, he still made his way through it. Not meaning to brag, but look at what his decisions had made me become today. I graduated from one of the finest high school in Malaysia and ended up with a not brilliant, but still good enough SPM result. If my dad were too give in to me and transferred me to a normal school back then, who knows what would happen to me. For all we know, i could be doing drugs or be smoking cigarettes by now. Because peer pressure sometimes can really get to me, especially when i find it hard to fit in. So thank God for my dad, for he had led me to the right path.

I was never the person who can express my feeling perfectly. I dont know how to say or show that i cared for someone. Let alone admit that i love them. You think it's natural for a daughter to say "I love you" to her parents? Well i thought so too. But then i turned 10, and i became this heartless monster which i am not really proud of. Even apologizing to my parents on Hari Raya scares the hell out of me. I'd be restless the day before, trying to come up with a speech to say to them. So you can imagine the same thing happens every Father's day, birthday, or any special kind of day when expressing your love is necessary.

Gosh i suck big time at this thing called love.

Most of the time my wishes would turn out to be something like this:

Toot toot (I usually do this by phone, since i'm always far from him)

"Heyyy daddy."

"Yes Nina. So what's new?"

"Err aa Happy Father's Day!"

"Wahh thank you thank you." (Then he would continue blabbering as if he's giving a speech after winning an award)

-- silence on my end --

Then we would change topics. Usually with me going "Daddy have you watched X-Men? It was good."

AWKWARD.

You see how lame i am with emotional wishes? I make it sound so... hambar. No wonder people always tell me that i am so heartless and that they had never felt loved by me. Sigh. I love you guys lah it's just that i was born a robot so don't blame me. Baby, i was born this way!

I even need my mum to remind me these special dates, or i'll end up having not a clue of what's happening. And then my dad would merajuk, big time. Such a girl lah my dad! Once i forgot my parents' 20th anniversary...

"Don't you know what day it is?" (grins)

"What? Wednesday?"

"How can you not know? So teruk. Never mind you didnt wished, but you don't even remember? Don't know what's gotten into you lately. This day is very special to mummy and daddy. 20 years of marriage, you think that's easy? You're 19 now, big girl already!"

After that i was not really listening because i was too busy singing in my head to the song playing on the radio. Pretty sure it was Far East Movement's Rocketeer.

"Hahaha how should i know it was your anniversary hahaha. Okay so where are we going for breakfast?"

I knowwww. I'm such a bad daughter you should hang me publicly right now.

I often envy my friends who made it look so easy to express their love towards their loved ones. You know, like buying their parents gifts or throwing surprise parties for their parents and stuff. Me? The best i can do is wish them, and that is through the phone. Go figure.

My dad's been hinting that he wishes to own an LCD projector so that he can watch movies like in the cinema - only it's not in the cinema. DADDY, SERIOUSLY? I AM ONLY 19 I CANT AFFORD NASI LEMAK LET ALONE AN LCD PROJECTOR.

So on this very special day (it's Father's Day, you fools. I know i know. I wont remember it either if it wasn't for the trending topics on Twitter, and my mum's text this morning. Heh), i would like to wish my dad...

a very very happy and glorious Father's Day!

But he never knew i had a blog so he probably wont be reading this blergh. I even wished him on Facebook and Twitter, but he too doesn't follow or be friends with me there, so... yeah. My effort doesn't really counts.

Actually my dad do have a Facebook account, but being the nice daughter i am, i requested for him to never ever add me as his friend cause i love my privacy. And he obeyed my request. Such a lucky daughter am i not! He trusts me that much i'm starting to feel guilty. Hmm.

He's such a proud father, my dad. I know he talks about me a lot to his students. Because somehow when his students visited our house during Raya, they would go all "Ohh so this is the daughter Mr. R has been talking about. The one who blablabla."

What a way to embarass me daddy. "-__-

I can go on and on about my dad, but i'll save you the torture. I'll end my post with how i wished my dad this morning.

Toot toot.

"Hello? Daddy?"

"I'll call you back. I'm in a meeting."

EPIC FAIL!

Happiness is a choice

Since high school ended and university started, i have been given a lot of annoying questions lately from friends i dont get to see or hear from that often. People keeps asking me "Don't you have classes?" or "You go out a lot. You must have a lot in your bank." just because they see updates and photos of me fooling around with my now college friends on Facebook and Twitter. Oh yeah and this blog too.

For the love of God, chill guys.

To be frank, i do have classes. Actually, i have them EVERYDAY from 7am to 5pm. And when i'm lucky enough i'd have them on Saturdays too. Now tell me which university can top that? I am living a pretty hectic life you see. I have quizzes almost everyday, tons of assignments and reports and you know what's the most horrible thing about my study life? That passing an exam is a crucial must, or else we will be kicked out from the scholarship program. Just. Like. That. This may sound okay to you but we *** students takes this seriously and think each of our exams as death sentences. And it's not at all easy to pass faham tak! (Passing mark is 60 btw) Yes, i am studying under a scholarship program, preparing myself to go abroad to further my studies. So studying really is important to me, although i may appear to be neglecting it from time to time.

Since my weekdays are packed with classes, i spared my weekend for some Me time. I go out, watch movies, eat, hang out, just so that i can clear up my head and actually breath. I go out not because i'm wild, or i have millions of cash to be spent. Sometimes i just need to chill, y'know? I'm sorry, but i'm not really the type of person who gets stressed out just because i have an assignment due the next Monday and spend my whole weekend worrying about it. I see a lot of my friends here are like that. They waste their time worrying but doesnt even bother to do anything, while i spend my time brilliantly by watching Po kung fu-ed his way to save China. And at the end of the day, i still get the work done.

So to those who have been saying that you have lots of assignments and you can't even find the time to chill and watch a movie, well that's bullshit. As my daddy always says, "There's 24hours in a day. So there's plenty of time. Never say it's not enough."

I'm pretty busy but i still find time to relax. So why can't you? Everyone gets 24 hours a day, so it's really the same for everyone. Don't say you're busier than me when you have a test next week while i have tests almost everyday. Or when your class starts early and by early you mean 10am, while my class starts at 7.50 am. EVERYDAY.

We're all the same lah brother.

I hope i won't get more of these annoying assumptions about my life. You too can get a life. You only have to try and stop worrying that much. If you really want to, you'll make time for anything. Go out, and live your life, cause you only live once!



By the way, i had just got back from watching Green Lantern. The movie was beyond awesome, you should move your ass and go watch it now! And don't even dare to say you don't have time.

Recaps

If i'm not mistaken, it has been a month or so since i last updated this blog. A LOT had happened during the time of my posts' absence but due to some complications, i was not able to record all the good memories and jot them down here for future remembrance.

Naaah. Actually i was just malas. Knowing me, i spent my weekdays focused on my studies (eceh kemain) and my weekends having endless fun. So there are times when writing in my blog gets pushed way down my priority list.

But fret not, i am back. Haha.

So what have i been doing for the past month? Too many i cant even recall. Let's start from where i left off. In my last post, i mentioned that i was going back to high school with a bunch of friends - and we did! It was such a fun day, having to spend the day with long lost friends. We arrived in a five-car convoy, can you imagine how glamorous we were.

It'll take me forever to write every detail, so might as well let the pictures do the talking.

I rode in Emira's classic Mini Cooper! Told you our arrival was glamorous.

After that we headed to Alamanda to reminisce our good old times spent there during the nasty 5 year period. The original plan was to actually play Laser Tag in Midvalley, but the plan had to be cancelled since some of us have exam fever. Damn you Nottingham kids.

Cheers to Azim for treating us a scoop of Baskin Robbin's delicious ice-cream.

And then we played some kind of a blade game idontknowwhatsitsname on Fateen Aqeela's iPad. For hours "-__-

Look at my watch! Hehe

Emira, Farahim, Amirah Athirah, Syazliza, Athirah, Dzahiriah, Fatinah, Fatin, Filza, Farah, Fateen, Faezah (did i missed a name?). Thanks guys for making the day a superb one. Oh and a special thanks to Faez Haziq too, for being the only hero that day. Tak malu sangat ni. Haha.

Oh and did you noticed the Cardraider thing written in every photo? Let's just say we lost all the photos at first (it freaked us out!) and when we get them back, voila, CARDRAIDER WRITTEN ALL OVER.

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And so i spent the next Saturdays and Sundays watching movies such as Pirates of The Carribbean, Kung Fu Panda 2 & X-Men First Class. Too many good movies out in May and June, and my pocket is most of the time empty. It's so hard to keep up with this lifestyle, you know, going to the cinema atleast once a week and everything. It's pretty expensive, but i can't really settle with downloaded movies. Where's the fun in that kan?






Oh and i HAVE to tell you guys what Damia, Syamim, Zuley, Adilin and I did the other day. The day started normally, but ended quite unexpectedly. As we were heading home from eating Kpg Baru's cheap nasi lemak, we made a quick stop at Taman Tasik Permaisuri. Note that at this time, it was already way past midnight. For those who still doesn't get it, do yourself a favor and Google up Taman Tasik Permaisuri. To give you a clearer view, this place is called by certain people as "Gay Park". Get it now? Get it??

Don't worry, we were in the car the whole time, protected by tinted glasses so nobody can really see us from outside. While my friends were busy being scared, i was laughing the entire time because.. i don't know. The sight was pretty funny and the fact that we're there is absolutely hilarious.

That was seriously the weirdest experience i had ever had. Oh dear God, i have such weird friends.

Kids, do not try this at home.